The Right this Minute Fleeting Moments of Childhood

When I was 7 years old, I l spent a lot of time helping my Grandma in her garden. I liked talking with her. She always listened, took me seriously and never talked down to me. When we were snapping peas or weeding together, I knew she could see the real me, not just the small body I wore like a disguise. The eyes of other grown ups rarely saw past my childish exterior, into the vast swirling sea of thoughts and emotions just underneath.

I felt she was the only one who might understand my desire to skip childhood. I told my Grandma that I couldn’t wait to grow up, because I didn’t like being a kid. I could never do what I wanted to do, or decide anything. I squinted up at her in the bright sunshine, surprised to hear her say that I should never wish away my life. I hadn’t thought of it like that. She told me I would never again be a kid, and that I should enjoy it while it lasted. She conceded that it was true, most decisions were made for me, but pointed out that I’d have the entire rest of my life to be an adult and make every decision for myself. My childhood was very short in comparison. I should try to enjoy it, as I’d never be a kid again.

There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.
~ Dalai Lama

Her words sunk in that day. Kids can always recognize truth, no matter how beautiful or ugly it may be. The sunshine and colors of nature seemed much brighter and alive when I was a child. Magic was still in the realm of possibilities. Ghosts whispered secrets in their quiet language. Unicorns lurked just beyond the edge of the forest, and witches practiced their spells in their long, green striped socks. I’m grateful that she helped me to appreciate it when I had the chance. Her words forged those fleeting moments into permanent memories which would have otherwise been unappreciated and lost.

As it turns out, growing up doesn’t solve all your problems. I outgrew my Grandma in height, but I never outgrew the things she said. I still strive to appreciate the present moments, even the imperfect ones, because there is no other time to be alive. As my daughter grew near the age of 7, my Grandma came to mind in those moments when I thought I was too worn out to be fully present in her boundless energy and imagination. All too soon she will grow too old for these games of pretend. One day she will grow up and move away. In the many years that will follow I want to look back with gratitude that I took the time while I had it to enjoy all the little people she was. The feeling of her hand in mine right now, will exist tomorrow only in my thoughts.

If you want to change the future, you must change what you're doing in the present.
~ Mark Twain

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